Did you know that the way people date and fall in love can vary greatly from group to group or culture to culture? It is very useful to understand how your own background shapes your ideas about dating and romance. Sometimes, you may get confused when you meet or date someone because their "rules" of romance may be very different from your own. Being able to communicate your rules in respectful way can lead to healthy relationship.
Words to Know
Commitment - a sense of loyalty and duty
Compatibility - the ability to be together in harmony, and to bring out the best in each other.
Romance - a love affair
Dating - a period of courtship when tow people meet and get to know each other.
Courtship - a period of time in which two people try to win each other affection or love.
Double standards - the expectation that men and women follow or should follow different rules for dating romance based on their gender
Infatuation - strong feelings toward another person, often based on physical attraction
Intimacy - the ability of two people to communicate about almost anything to share very personal and private things with another.
Reciprocal Relationship - the interchange of giving, receiving, and compromising with the intent of allowing each individual to grow to her or his full potential
Rules of Romance - the attitudes, behaviors, and expectations for dating and developing loving relationship.
Questions About Love
There are some guidelines for thinking and talking about your relationship expectations. It is also a good idea to explore your compatibility-the ability to be in harmony and bring out the best in each other. Below are some questions to first ask yourself and than discuss with the people you decide to date.
- What do you expect from this relationship?
- Do you want to have fun without serious intent?
- Are you looking for a committed partner?
- What does the person you are dating expect?
- Do you share the same expectations for the relationship?
- Do you come from complementary backgrounds?
- Do you respect and cherish each other's dreams and desires?
- Do you share similar values and goals?
- Are you both at your best in each other's presence?
The Buzz Corner
Dear Buzz,
I have been going with the same guy for 3 years, but since I have joined Job Corps, I am finding myself attacked to many different people. I'd like to date others but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend. What should I do?
It's not easy. Dating someone involves finding out if that person is someone with whom you want to form a long-term commitment. As we grow and mature, what attracts us about a partner often also changes. It sounds as if your values and your interest have expanded since you joined Job corps. It may be that your boyfriend is also growing and expanding in different directions. have an open talk with him and tell him what you are feeling. Keeping the channels of communication open and dealing with changes in your relationship in an honest way can benefit both of you...whether you decide to stay together or split up.
Dear Buzz,
I really like that one girl, but she seems to want to date a bunch of guys. What should I do?
The first step to to tell her how you feel. Remember, the purpose of dating is to allow people to get to know each other, determine how they feel about each other, and figure out what kind of relationship they would like to enjoy. Some relationships are short-lived, and others may be result in lifelong partnerships or friendships. Have a talk with her about expectations. It may be that you have very different expectations about dating than she does. Having an honest talk with her will help clarify any misunderstandings.
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